As we walked into Nike Headquarters
Canada, I felt like I was entering a secret society like the
Illuminati, the Masons, or the group of people who can assemble Ikea
furniture in less than an hour (and without curse words). Firstly,
there was no sign with the name “Nike” on the building, simply a
signature swoosh on one corner.
Once inside, I felt like I was a cast
member in a sci-fi movie. Everything was modern, glass and chrome and
secret doors everywhere. However, I was catapulted by to 21st
century when the rep showed up. I found him to be rather an anomaly
in this futuristic setting. Half his head was shaved and he appeared
to prefer the use of ink to clothe his body rather than the
traditional--well--clothes. I found this odd considering he was
trying to get companies to buy clothes. He did manage a pair of
shorts and a tank top barely covering his hyper designed skin.
Apparently he was a runner. This did
not fare well as I was there to learn about soccer cleats, of which
he knew very little. But, it was his attitude, not his appearance,
that got my hackles up, creating a prejudice that would not step
aside.
He was rude, elitist and condescending.
I wasn't a happy bunny, especially since I wear Nike almost
exclusively. The whole experience made me think about athletic
companies in general.
The thing that strikes me about many of
these companies is I believe they are trying to create a little
mystery, mostly by the pronunciation of their names. They like to
keep the general public guessing, as very few of them are
straightforward. You hear the word “Nike” said two ways
consistently and I am not even able to count how many variations of
“Saucony” I have heard.
Why do they do this? I believe it is to
create an aura of mystery, elitism and to see if you are really in
the club. If you can pronounce it right, you are truly an athlete, a
member of those 'in the know'.
Well, I believe we should all be 'in
the know' so I am going to crack open the code. Move over Dan Brown,
I'm going to solve mysteries even Robert Langdon might find
challenging. Forget anti-matter and the Pope, I've got the inside
track on how to say “Puma” correctly.
So, let's do this in alphabetical
order, shall we. After years of research, I am here to give you the
answers you've been looking for. Let's start with the As.
Addidas. Looks simple enough. This one
is a little tricky because it depends where you live. If you are in
North America, you should pronounce this Add DEE Das. However, if you
are European and you said it like that you would be looked at as if
you had three heads. In Europe, it is said Addy DAS. Since Puma and
Addidas are rival companies owned by two German brothers—a
fascinating backstory—I think the second pronunciation is probably
how the owner says it.
Asics. The
name of the company "ASICS" is an
acronym of the Latin phrase "anima sana in corpore sano"
which translates to "a healthy soul in a healthy body" or
"a sound mind in a sound body”. I nearly choked on my green
tea latte one time--while
in a store a patron asked to look at the employee's ASS-icks.
I don't know how the attendant kept it together, but he did. If
someone asked me if they could look at my ASS-icks,
I think I'd slap them. The “A” is a long vowel
sound.
Trust me. It is. So, please, do yourself, me and the 18 year old part
time employee at the sports store a favour and ask for EH-sicks
please. Just do it. Oh, wait, that is Nike's slogan...
Nike. This is Greek, named for a god.
And, judging by that rep's attitude, some of the employees think they
are gods. So, in Greek, anything ending in an e is pronounced 'ee'.
So, although many people say Nike, rhyming with bike, it is actually
Nike, rhyming with Mikey.
Saucony. A lot of people say sah-CONEY
(rhyming with pony). However, the name itself comes from the Saucony Creek in Pennsylvania. The correct pronunciation is SOCK-ah-knee.
I've even heard sauce-ney which sounds more like some type of ice
cream topping than sneakers.
Puma. Only two options here. One sounds
slightly off-colour, kind of in the vein of Asics. Pooh-ma. Nope, not
that. It is Pume (rhyming with doom) ma.
There you have it. You are now in the
club. No more mystery, no more guessing. You should be good, until,
of course, you decide to pick up that Sugoi shirt...
